Ron Artest? Michael Vick? Meh. They've got nothing on baseball's lowliest cretins.

5. Pete Rose
An obvious choice, owing to his years of swearing he didn't gamble on baseball… then admitting his misdeeds... then capitalizing on the controversy by selling a book and signing "I'm sorry I bet on baseball" tchotchkes. He drew a 30-day suspension for shoving an ump, spent five months in the pen for tax evasion, ignored his son for years, you name it. No, Rose didn't deserve to be portrayed by Tom Sizemore in the ESPN biopic about his troubles—that's a fate nobody deserves—but in retrospect, only the "hustler" part of his Charlie Hustle persona was truly didactic. On the plus side, he cut a mean Aqua Velva promo.

4. The 1986 New York Mets
It's a rare group of non-felons that can inspire a book titled The Bad Guys Won! A Season of Brawling, Boozing, Bimbo-chasing, and Championship Baseball with Straw, Doc, Mookie, Nails, The Kid, and the Rest of the 1986 Mets, the Rowdiest Team Ever to Put on a New York Uniform—and Maybe the Best. Dwight Gooden (drugs, booze) and Darryl Strawberry (drugs, booze, tax evasion, spousal assault) snorted away careers bound for immortality, and evidence suggests they were among the lesser offenders; Shea's clubhouse served as breeding ground for scumbags-in-training