The 10 Best and Worst Things to Happen to Men in 2007
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STUPID FUN
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We teamed up with our pals at Maxim Radio to pick the things that made us love and hate being men over the last year.
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BEST
1. HAYDEN PANETTIERE TURNS 18
It didn't improve our chances with her, but now that Hayden has reached the age of consent we feel a lot less guilty about obsessively rewinding the cheerleader parts of Heroes. Now we're going to spend the next three years at the bar waiting for her to turn 21.
2. Science Proves That Staring at Boobs Prolongs Life
In a study that's likely faker than Bigfoot's hair color (totally a natural redhead), German researchers found that staring at large breasts for 10 minutes a day is equal to doing a half hour of cardio. We know it's not true, mainly because we're as heart-healthy as Dick Cheney, but it helps us justify the use of our free time.
3. The Van Halen Reunion
Real rock stars are rare these days, so it's assuring to know that the guys who set the standard in the '80s still can't drive 55…even though they're almost 55. But the best part? They left Sammy Hagar and his Hawaiian shirts at home.
4. Baseball Owners Tell A-Rod to F Off
Mr. Walktober traded the supple udder of a Yankees contract extension for the cold shoulder from every other team in the league when he applied for free agency. We hear the Rangers are going to use the money they no longer have to pay him to erect a huge statue of Rafael Palmeiro's boner, soon expected to turn in better postseason numbers!
5. 2007 Hometown Hotties Winner Erin
Had Maxim.com not scoured the continent for insanely hot women, you may never have laid eyes on this stunning Daytona Beach student. We look forward to Erin representing us in '08, and are extremely excited to see who from the coming year's crop of Hotties (for which registration is currently open. Hint, hint) can take her throne. Or at least her tiny bathing suit. SEE HER GALLERY!
6. Female Gamers Have More Sex
We've told you about our love for fake studies, but sometimes real ones work for us, too. A U.K. game rental service released stats this year (we didn't say reliable, we just said not fake) claiming that girls who game get it on more than those who don't. Could be a chemical reaction in their brains, could be that their boyfriends will do anything to get them to quit hogging the TV with their marathon Viva Piñata sessions.
7. The McRib Takes a Third Farewell Lap
We won't drive seven minutes round-trip to visit our grandmother (it smells like adult diapers and sorrow there), but when McDonald's brings back its vaguely rib-shaped sandwich, we'll do whatever it takes to get one. Its third farewell tour started in October, and has left a delicious trail of slimy red sauce across the country that has die-hard fast foodies running—or at least waddling gingerly—to get their hands on one.
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