The Punisher
"Tee hee! I saw my family gunned down by mobsters, which triggered the post-traumatic stress disorder that's warped my brain since 'Nam!

Ghost Rider
"I'm a spirit of vengeance from hell that works for Satan! Who-o-o-o wants a ride on my flaming Hellcycle?!"

The Sentinel
"Beep! Boop! I'm programmed by the government to exterminate mutants—many of whom are just children!"

Iron Man
"I'm a superhero by day, womanizing alcoholic by night! Fun!"

Red Skull
"I'm a Nazi!"

Galactus
"Mmmmm, your planet looks yummy! I'm going to eat it all up, while you and every last trace of your existence digest in my belly!"

Phoenix
"I am very pretty, but if I get mad, my powers will consume me, turning me into a demonic, murderous being with godlike powers. The only solution is to kill myself!"

Dr. Strange
"Hey, kids! Want to see a magic trick? I've managed to be a single, middle-aged man with a penchant for robes living in Greenwich Village with an Asian manservant for years without anyone asking questions! Ta-da!"