The 10 Deadliest Dwarfs
Will both Peter Dinklage and Tattoo appear on this list? Yes.
Will both Peter Dinklage and Tattoo appear on this list? Yes.
1. Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones
Hollywood film execs rarely announce, “Let’s cast somebody unexpected, clearly talented but by no means a box office attraction. And it goes without saying he should be under five feet tall.” Happily, there’s been one amazing recent role for a height-impaired actor: Tyrion Lannister on Game of Thrones. HBO found the perfect actor in Peter Dinklage, who has already won an Emmy for it. Tyrion often commits violence — or more often, as he admits in his epic “confession”, convinces others to commit violence on his behalf — while still finding ample time for boozing and whoring.
2. Herve Villechaize in The Man With the Golden Gun
Yes, he did other things besides scream “Dee plane! Dee plane!” to notify Mr. Roarke that dee plane had arrived on Fantasy Island. (Indeed, Villechaize was an acclaimed painter, but paintings are no fun to look at on YouTube while you’re supposed to be working.) While not a top-of-the-line 007 film — it stars Roger Moore — the man with the aforementioned gun himself is nicely portrayed by 6’5” Christopher Lee, who seems even taller when paired with lethal sidekick Nick Nack.
3. Agent 00 in For Y’ur Height Only
If you feel like The Man With the Golden Gun should have focused more on Nick Nack, here’s the flick for you. From the 1970s to the 1990s, the Philippines became a mecca for filmmakers looking to make terrible movies as rapidly as possible. These included a series of efforts starring Weng Weng as Agent 00, which were just like James Bond films if James Bond stood less than three feet tall. And spent all his time in the Philippines. And had no money or time for a proper production. Eh, still better than the Timothy Dalton films.
4. The entire cast of The Terror of Tiny Town
When it came out in 1938, it was described as the “only musical Western with an all-midget cast.” Over 70 years later, it can still make that claim. Discover why you should find these cowpokes very, very dangerous.
5. Dopey of The Seven Dwarfs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0LsZg8hmUA
You doubt it? Just watch the twisted glee he takes as he “kills the wiggler” in a Disney short film that encourages dumping oil in water. Ah, times were simpler then! (Seriously, watch this clip – you will not spend a better 27 seconds on anything ever.)
6. The leprechaun in Leprechaun
George Lucas gave Warwick Davis the title role in 1988’s Willow and Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant’s Life’s Too Short put him back in the spotlight, but he’s at his best in Leprechaun, which reminded the world that the Irish have a decided dark side. For every Liam Neeson, there’s an Enya. Click here to find Warwick’s favorite death scenes.
7. The “child” in Don’t Look Now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYICwstBwnM
In the 1970s, they knew how to do horror. Nicolas Roeg’s 1973 film follows Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie, two parents grieving the death of their young daughter in Venice. Soon Donald becomes convinced he’s spotted her again while still finding time for a love scene with Julie so explicit that to this day there are rumors they actually had sex on the set.
8. Marcus in Bad Santa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVRmXc8PPqk
Having earned some bad-ass points for stealing Jim Carrey’s wife in Me, Myself and Irene, Tony Cox established himself as a holiday icon with his role as an “elf” who, along with Billy Bob Thornton’s perpetually wasted Willie T. Stokes, makes a living by robbing department stores at Christmas and won’t let anyone get in his way, not even the late Bernie Mac.
9. Bushwick Bill of The Geto Boys
Straight outta Houston, the Geto Boys were the first rap group from the South to experience major success nationwide and, with their pioneering of the “horrorcore” style, did their part to keep those Parental Advisory labels coming. While Willie D and Scarface were great, unquestionably the breakout star was Bushwick Bill, who didn’t let his size stop him from throwing down on anyone daring to cross his path, ranging from little kids trick-or-treating to the street itself.
10. Hornswoggle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXxpVtxKrC4
Linda McMahon’s run for the U.S. Senate in Connecticut was a disaster on which she squandered roughly $50 million of her own money, but she can take solace from this: At least the press never made a big deal out of husband Vince’s illegitimate son Hornswoggle. Despite his sinful origins, Hornswoggle grew up to be the WWE’s cruiserweight champion and proved capable of destroying far larger men, often with the help of explosives, as this clip demonstrates.
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