The greatest obscene hand gestures in cinematic history are truly for the birds!
Photo: Paramount Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Thanks to Twitter, text messages and Facebook, no one uses hand gestures anymore. There’s a very real chance that soon using the middle finger will go the way of Shakespeare’s “I bite my thumb at thee.” For that reason, we must salute the movies that help keep the middle finger alive! It’s perhaps the only offensive hand gesture we have left, unless you count that strange, “Flick your hand under your chin” thing that some cultures use. (What does that mean, anyway? I shove my chin fat at you?) Here are the best middle finger movie moments, ranked in order of their creativity and usefulness.
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Flipper Offer: A punk on a Bay Area bus who doesn’t appreciate Kirk and Spock’s request that he turn down his music.
Finger creativity level: 3 out of 10 (Points deducted because a real punk could do better than that.)
The Breakfast Club
Photo: Universal Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Flipper Offer: Rich girl Claire (Molly Ringwald), who does not appreciate being told that, one day, she will be fat.
Finger creativity level: 4 out of 10 (Points deducted because she uses that weird “my other fingers are almost raised” middle finger which is half-assed. Are you angry or waving?)
Glengarry Glenn Ross
Flipper Offer: Office manager Kevin Spacey gets an earful (and eyeful) from irate real estate salesman Shelley “The Machine” Levene (Jack Lemmon).
Finger creativity level: 6 out of 10 (Points added to this otherwise boring finger because it was mixed with David Mamet’s snappy dialogue.)
The Matrix
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XierBpLGgwQ
Flipper Offer: Neo may be interrogated by Agent Smith, but he ain’t intimidated by Agent Smith.
Finger creativity level: 6 out of 10 (Points deducted as punishment for the other two Matrix films.)
X-Men
Flipper Offer: Cool guy Wolverine expresses himself to dorky Cyclops with an Adamantium message.
Finger creativity level: 7 out of 10 (Points added because as hard as we try, we can’t extend claws from our knuckles and instead they pop out of our ears. What muscle should we be flexing and how do you stop the bleeding/crying?)
Office Space
Photo: 20th Century Fox | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Flipper Offer: Joanna (Jennifer Aniston) tells the manager of Chotchkie’s (director Mike Judge) what he can do with his “flair.”
Finger creativity level: 7 out of 10 (Points added because it was the right thing to do.)
The Naked Gun
Flipper Offer: A student driver, who is instructed to do so by her teacher. Frank Drebin watches from the back seat, impressed.
Finger creativity level: 8 out of 10 (Points added because it’s how we learned.)
Bring It On
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0YqZqU_z0Q
Flipper Offer: Tough girl Eliza Dushku isn’t really tatted up as she auditions for the cheerleading squad…and she has an expressive way of proving it.
Finger creativity level: 8 out of 10 (Points added for use of her tongue.)
Cannonball Run II
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CBx0iwodOg
Flipper Offer: A chimp chauffeur to an old lady…who responds with a gesture of her own!
Finger creativity level: 9 out of 10 (Points added for being an ape.)
Evil Dead 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3FvEHtxkgw
Flipper Offer: Ash’s (Bruce Campbell) disembodied hand, after getting caught in a mousetrap.
Finger creativity level: 9 out of 10 (Points added because he flips off himself! It’s the Charlie Kaufman of middle fingers.)
Summer School
Photo: Paramount Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Flipper Offer: When serious teacher Kirstie Alley walks into deadbeat Mark Harmon’s rowdy class of misfits, she suggests they use quieter means to express themselves.
Finger creativity level: 9 out of 10 (Points added because it’s educational.)
True Romance
Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Flipper Offer: Alabama (Patricia Arquette) shows a pre-Sopranos James Gandolfini that she’s not scared of him, even if it means her almost certain death.
Finger creativity level: 10 out of 10 (Points added because this girl has balls!)