4 Types of Movies Zombies Aren’t In (But Could Be!)
If Hollywood had any “BRAAAIIINNS” they’d get some undead in these movies immediately.
If Hollywood had any “BRAAAIIINNS” they’d get some undead in these movies immediately.
In the book and upcoming movie World War Z, Max Brooks attempts to realistically convey what a zombie apocalypse would look like in today’s society. It’s a different and surprisingly intelligent look at the infected. Even more surprising is the fact that is hasn’t been done before – we’ve put zombies in the mall, the strip club, and even in Nazi uniforms, but it took this long (and support from Brangelina) to push zombies realistically into our world.
So, in an attempt to rocket ourselves to Brad Pitt levels of wealth, we’re coming up with every possible movie scenario in which we could, but have not yet, placed zombies. Open those checkbooks, Hollywood, we’re about to make a movie(s).
Zombies in Space
It’s so simple! Yet, apart from culty nonsense, we’ve yet to send brain-eaters to the great beyond. If we can send Jason Voorhees (who is apparently training to be a pro wrestler) up, we can certainly send up a couple zombies or at least a few vials of a mysterious virus that are brought on-board for an inexplicable reason and inevitably shatter in spite of the lack of gravity. Spacewalk without a suit? Not a problem for the undead. The only letdown of zombie astronauts is to see all that lung capacity go to waste.
Zombies Driving Cars Really Fast
They may not be very fast (and are emotionally incapable of being furious), but you know who always wins at chicken? Someone who’s already dead. Zombies could move the needle on these movies from “not much utilization of brakes” to “no utilization of brakes at all.” Some would argue that this would eliminate the stakes and turn these movies into complete destruction derbies. But then everyone else would say to them: “SHUT UP. Destruction derbies are awesome.”
Zombie and Dinosaurs
Both are slow-moving, carnivorous, growling monsters – how have we yet to make this connection!? We know what you’re thinking – are they people zombies in dinosaur times, zombie dinosaurs in dinosaur times, or zombies, dinosaurs, AND zombie dinosaurs in present times? Any combination would work, but if we’re blowing this movie out (are you listening, Spielberg?), we’d obviously go with the latter- and most awesome – of those scenarios.
Zombies in Another Apocalypse Movie That is Not About Zombies
Just because they aren’t the focus of the film doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t appreciate being there. If we’re fighting to save the world from alien invasion? Put a little more on President Paxton’s plate. Say there’s an asteroid hurtling towards our planet at 158,000 gigawatts per second or whatever? Trot out the hungry troops, there’s plenty of eating to be done. Aerosmith music sounds a lot better when Steven Tyler is being devoured by zombies anyway.
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