As great as they (mostly) are at their jobs, we wouldn’t necessarily want to share a locker room with these guys.
With former NFL lineman Lomas Brown recently admitting to letting a guy sack his QB Scott Mitchell because, well, he sucked, we rounded up some more guys that we wouldn’t really want to share a locker room with.
Kobe Bryant
Photo by DANNY MOLOSHOK / Landov
Though we’d defend his competitiveness and just claim Kobe’s got that extra “it” factor, there’s no shortage of guys in the league who’d probably say that the “it” factor could be defined as “assholery.” Never shy to call out teammates—remember that Andrew Bynum rant from a couple years ago?—the Mamba expects perfection from himself and his teammates. Looking to take a couple shots, maybe increase your scoring average and land a fat contract in the offseason? Hope you don’t end up in La La land alongside No. 24, because you won’t see the rock for more than a couple times a game, and when you do touch it, you best not fuck it up, or Kobe just won’t look your way again. Just ask Smush Parker how playing with Kobe worked out.
John Terry
Photo by WANG LILI / Landov
Former England soccer team captain John Terry might just be one of the biggest jackasses in sports. Thanks to the recurring racism claims in which he called his teammate’s brother some truly unpleasant words during a match, guys aren’t exactly knocking down the door to suit-up with the guy, but it’s his tendency to shag his mate’s birds (that’s “sleep with his buddies’ girlfriends,” in American) that put the icing on the shit-sandwich – especially for Wayne Bridge. When he’s not doing stuff like that, he’s busy engaging in activities like fighting bouncers and leaving his Bentley in disabled parking spots, so it seems like it’d pay to not be friends with the guy.
Delonte West
Photo by ALBERT PENA / Landov
Besides his arrest for going all Desperado and driving around with a guitar case filled with loaded guns, West was involved in a certain rumor about an ex-teammate’s mom. That former mate just happened to be LeBron James, and the rumor had West banging-out Bron’s mama. Whether fact or fiction, Clevelanders might want to point the finger at Delonte for James splitting town, and not so much the chance for him to win not one, not two, not three… rings with his buddies in Miami. Guess West just couldn’t wait to be King!
Gilbert Arenas
Photo by GARY W. GREEN / Landov
Card games are a regular hobby among teammates to pass time on long flights or before games. But sometimes, telling someone to “go fish” can set a spark off in another guy. When Arenas played for the Wizards, he actually pulled a gun on teammate Javaris Crittenton—who happened to have a heater aimed towards Arenas, too—over some gambling debts from card games. At the time, Arenas was easily the highest paid baller on the team, and that cash, naturally, comes with responsibility—a responsibility that Arenas obviously couldn’t handle, going by his total inability to lead the Wiz that year.
Darko Milicic
Photo by ADRIEN VECZAN / Landov
He may not get in trouble or act like a dick in the locker room, but the fact that one of the biggest busts in sports history still finds a way onto an NBA roster each year—earning more than $45 million in his career—must really suck for the dudes who come and try to work their asses off to make a squad. Imagine being an undrafted rookie trying to make a team, and your spot gets snatched by a player whose biggest hurdle is frequently the damn rim? Yeah, that’d suck. Darko’s a terrible teammate for being drafted directly after LeBron, and ahead of Carmelo, D-Wade, and Chris Bosh, and never doing a thing with that “talent.”
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