The Dirtiest Movie Dreadlocks
You can almost taste them…
You can almost taste them…
The new documentary about Bob Marley, appropriately titled Marley, is hitting theaters, appropriately on 4/20. The dreaded reggae hero got us thinking about some of the dirtiest dreads in movie history so we decided to round them up. Grab your beeswax, your favorite smokable, and take it in. Don’t forget to pass!
Predator – Predator
Photo Courtesy of 20th Century Fox | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
The Predator is one scary-ass creature with one amazing set of dreads. Looking like a more menacing version of Swamp Thing and employing a special active camouflage defense system gives the beast one hell of an advantage in battle, but when that biomask comes off and the Predator’s tight, black, rope-like dreads come out, all bets are off. It doesn’t matter if you’re the size of Arnold and covered in mud, you’re done for. [Ed Note: We’re not really sure these are official dreadlocks…but shut up.]
Drexl Spivey – True Romance
Photo Courtesy of Warner Brothers Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Gary Oldman has played some of the creepiest looking mofos in cinematic history. From Sid Vicious and Mason Verger to Dracula and Drexl Spivey, Oldman has kicked ass in every role. His dreadlocked and racially-confused turn as the pimp Drexl Spivey in Tony Scott’s True Romance might just be his most quotable role of all time. “He musta thought it was white boy day…it ain’t white boy day is it?”
Captain Jack Sparrow – Pirates of the Caribbean
Photo Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Johnny Depp’s grungy dreaded pirate might be a conceptual mix of Keith Richards and Pepe Le Pew, but we think there’s got to be a little Marley in there with those crunchy locks. Girls everywhere fell for the lovable scoundrel, until they realize his hair probably smells like salty crabs and tastes like a prostitute’s infected toe.
Peloquin – Nightbreed
Photo Courtesy of 20th Century Fox | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Clive Barker’s twisted 1990 flick Nightbreed stars a crazy cast of mutant outcasts, the coolest of which might just be the creeptastic red-faced, deep-voiced, skin-dreaded Peloquin. The guy can “smell” innocence and has a penchant for taking a bite out of people. Think of him as a less intimidating version of Predator with red skin. Or just try not to think of him at all. We’re still skeeved.
Screwface – Marked for Death
Photo Courtesy of 20th Century Fox | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Steven Seagal plus voodoo makes for one of the best movies of all time. It doesn’t hurt that the movie’s main baddie, crime kingpin Screwface (Basil Wallace), has a great name and a killer head full of dreads. Sadly, the hair snakes don’t do a whole lot to help him from having his eyes gouged out, being thrown down an elevator shaft, and being impaled on a spike. Guess they weren’t kidding when they said Seagal always wins.
Terl – Battlefield Earth
Photo Courtesy of Warner Brothers Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
The 2000 L. Ron Hubbard adaptation Battlefield Earth is arguably one of the worst films ever made. Everyone knows that. But why is it so horrible? Is it the acting? The plot? The acting? The acting? Or the hair? The film gave us one hell of a set of dirty dreads on the head of Psychlo security chief on Earth, Terl (John Travolta). They might be a huge mess up there on his head, but damn if they aren’t impressive. In fact, they’re probably the only impressive thing about the movie. Aside from the terrible acting.
BONUS: THE CLEANEST DREADLOCKS
The Twins – The Matrix Reloaded
Photo Courtesy of Warner Brothers Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
The Twins in 2003’s mostly-lame sequel to The Matrix have three awesome things going for them: They can become translucent. They can move through solid objects. And they rock the cleanest pair of dreadlocks this side of a salon. Damn those dreads are tight, clean, and well maintained. These Merovingian henchman are proof positive that, even in the Matrix, you can still get your hair did.
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