Give It Up for the 81-Year-Old Grandmother Who Crushed a Beer Mile

“If it was scotch we were drinking instead of beer, I would have run a lot faster.”

Thomas Freeman

Dec 11, 2015

Here’s a woman who can handle her booze.

A 81-year-old grandmother crushed the competition at the 2015 FloTrack Beer Mile World Championships in Austin, Texas. Zipping across the finish line like a bat out of hell, Elvira “Vera” Montes finished the race in just 20 minutes and 24 seconds, downing four lagers in the scurry.

So this happened—81 y/o grandma completed the @FloTrack beer mile world champs. https://t.co/kEuDxQe3Nf pic.twitter.com/SuExkkZukR

— Women's Running (@WomensRunning) December 6, 2015

Even better, Montes beat her 47-year-old daughter at her own game, crossing the finish line a full minute earlier. “My daughter Renee told me about. I told her I didn’t think I could do it but she encouraged me to,” the El Paso native told the El Paso Times. Montes even managed to emasculate her weak-kneed son-in-law, who was unable to finish the marathon.

For those of you unfamiliar with the arcana of speed drinking, beer miles marry good old-fashioned track and field with the alcoholic gymnastics of the frat house. Runners kick off the race by chugging a 12-ounce beer. After every quarter mile, participants must chug another, which adds up to an additional three times. They aren’t recommended for the elderly. [Editor’s note:Only one Maxim.com has ever succesfully completed a beer mile, which is embarrasing]

However, the ordeal barely rattled the gray-haired beer-guzzler. “It was just like drinking water,” she told The Washington Post.

As it turns out, she has had some practice. Montes is an avid runner who, reportedly, can finish a 5K with no trouble. As for her alcohol endurance, Montes isn’t actually much of a beer drinker. She prefers the hard stuff.

“I’m really a scotch drinker, Chivas if it’s available,” She told the El Paso Times, “If it was scotch we were drinking instead of beer, I would have run a lot faster.”

Give it up to the oldest finisher of the 2015 FloTrack Beer Mile World Championships. We know she’d kill that scotch mile if she got the chance.