This morning marked the announcement of the 2014 Golden Globe nominations, and while many of the nominees seemed predictable – American Hustle, 12 Years a Slave, Gravity – a few of the best* performances of the year were seemingly overlooked. Here are a few of the most glaring omissions.
*In this context, “best” should be understood to mean “so fucking bad, they were kind of amazing.”
Best Actor in a Motion Picture: Ashton Kutcher / Jobs
Ashton Kutcher takes a break from his highly successful career as a maker of televised dick jokes, and proves to the world that literally anyone can be an actor.
Best Supporting Actress in a Mini-Series or TV Movie: Tara Reid / Sharknado
Ian Ziering was arguably robbed too, but frankly his performance wasn’t quite as compelling as Reid’s. Like, he just compelled us to want to change the channel, whereas she compelled us to want to claw our eyes out. That‘s talent.
Best Director / Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy: Tyler Perry / A Madea Christmas
As the ever-poetic Madea might say, I oughta punch you in da face for not nominating Tyler Perry for this work of art.
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture: Jeff Bridges / R.I.P.D.
Did you ever wonder what it would look like if Jeff Bridges reprised his role from True Grit, in a movie that was basically just “Men In Black, but with ghosts”? Did you think it would look like one of the finest actors of his generation, reduced to making bullshit tween flicks with Ryan Reynolds while the audience dies a little inside? Then you’d be right!
Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy: James Franco / Spring Breakers
You should already know where we stand on this one. And before you argue that Spring Breakers is neither a musical nor a comedy, we present this clip, which proves that it is both:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7n3gF7j2V4
Photos by Kevin Winter/ Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013