It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is about to kick off its 12th season, and true fans know that the gang has come across their fair share of babes over the years. Here are our favorite sexy characters who put the heat in Sunny.
Maureen Ponderosa
Played By: Catherine Reitman
First Appearance: Season Six, Episode One, “Mac Fights Gay Marriage”
Maureen is Dennis’ high school sweetheart, wife, ex-wife, on/off lover, sequin enthusiast and, if you ask her, she self-identifies as a cat. Charlie’s Kitten Mitton slogan definitely applies to Maureen: MeeOww!
Artemis Dubois
Played By: Artemis Pebdani
First Appearance: Season One, Episode Four, “Charlie Has Cancer”
Easily the dirtiest girl on this list, we have a hard time thinking of the numerous unspeakable things Artemis and Frank have done over 12 seasons. Artemis’ kinks aren’t for everyone, but a woman who cares enough to bleach her asshole and let everyone know it deserves a spot on the list.
Bonnie Kelly
Played By: Lynn Marie Stewart
First Appearance: Season One, Episode Seven, “Charlie Got Molested”
The most senior woman included here, coincidentally, is the biggest whore. Literally. Charlie’s mom has been a hooker even in the earliest of Charlie’s memories, turning tricks for Xmas presents. You have to respect a woman who has thirty years of professional experience.
Dee Reynolds
Played By: Kaitlin Olson
First Appearance: Season One, Episode One, “The Gang Gets Racist”
Dee has scammed the IRS, popped out a baby (for cash), been lit on fire, got addicted to crack and even gotten plowed by a wall of raw sewage, but there’ll always be a soft spot for her in our hearts. Even if she’s the worst and looks like a goddamn bird.
The Waitress
Played By: Mary Elizabeth Ellis
First Appearance: Season One, Episode One, “The Gang Gets Racist”
We don’t know her name—who cares anyway?—but we do know that The Waitress gets treated worse by the gang than almost everyone else on Always Sunny. Dennis manipulates her, Frank made a sex-tape with her, and Charlie’s obsession over her puts her in a constant state of downward spiral. We’re suspect of most things Charlie likes: cheese, magnets, catfood, huffing glue. But we can see the appeal of The Waitress’ damaged goods.
Ruby Taft
Played By: Alexandra Daddario
First Appearance: Season Eight, Episode Four, “Charlie and Dee Find Love”
Ruby was little more than a pawn in Charlie’s cruel intentions to make The Waitress love him, a head-scratching twist since she was gorgeous, rich and put out for Charlie almost immediately.
Tatiana
Played By: Natasha Alam
First Appearance: Season 11, Episode Two, “The Gang Hits the Slopes”
We learned the most important pearl of skiing wisdom from Tatiana’s role in the show—you must embrace the mountain. We also learned that playing saxophone while banging was a fetish for us. Thanks, Tatiana.
Caylee, the girl who got DENNIS’d
Played By: Jill Latiano
First Appearance: Season Five, Episode Ten, “The D.E.N.N.I.S. System”
Incredibly, the woman who is Glenn Howerton’s (Dennis) real life wife also played Caylee, the prime example of a woman who succumbed to the utterly sociopathic D.E.N.N.I.S. System. For good reason, it seems, the S didn’t stand for Separate Entirely that time around.
Carmen
Played By: Brittany Daniel
First Appearance: Season One, Episode Four, “Charlie Has Cancer”
Carmen and her pre-op penis made lots of people double-take. The fact is that she’s played by an actual woman named Brittany Daniel of Sweet Valley High fame. Where Carmen’s dong wound up, now that she’s post-op, may be Sunny’s greatest mystery.
Dusty
Played By: Maria Zyrianova
First Appearance: Season Ten, Episode Six, “The Gang Misses the Boat”
Mac’s fake slampiece. She loves Angel Dust—enough to have earned her the name Dusty. So there’s really no wonder why she was cool with Mac fake-banging her for the sound effects in exchange for PCP.
Barbara Reynolds
Played By: Anne Archer
First Appearance: Season Two, Episode Two, “The Gang Goes Jihad”
Dennis and Dee’s mom was a stone cold bitch, but her half of Frank’s fortune and an attitude that gets her what she wants made her Philadelphia’s resident Mrs. Robinson and the hottest (but not only) MILF on the show.
Margaret McPoyle
Played By: Margaret Surface (who’s actually hot IRL)
First Appearance: Season Two, Episode Nine, “Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody’s Ass”
This milk-drinking, lip-smacking McPoyle sister is as off-putting as Sunny characters get. Still, what happens in Paddy’s Pub’s restroom should definitely stay there, even if it’s a Halloween romp with Margaret McPoyle.
Jackie Denardo
Played By: Jessica Collins
First Appearance: Season Seven, Episode Six, “The Storm of the Century”
Weather lady turned Dennis’ dream nurse, Jackie Denardo boasts a body you’d expect from a local daytime TV celeb. In fact, Jackie is so entrancing that we give her credit for nursing Dennis back to life even if he didn’t return the favor.
Ingrid “Fatty Magoo” Nelson
Played By: Judy Greer
First Appearance: Season Three, Episode Five, “The Aluminum Monster VS Fatty Magoo”
Dee’s high school rival/fellow loser, Fatty Magoo is most certainly the ugly duckling to Dee’s wild ostrich. When Ingrid shows up as an adult who’s sexy and successful, Dee’s immediate jealousy is totally justified… and hilarious.