Maxim’s Office Fantasy League Draft Results
And the number one pick was a little unorthodox.
In search of yet another excuse to drink beers and eat hot wings in lieu of work, Football Maximus – our office fantasy football league – held its draft today. Sleeper picks were declared, kickers were picked too early, and many Tebow/Hernandez jokes were made.
Shane Lyons and his crew from downtown New York’s Distilled started the party with some upscale pub fare (because you know how classy we are here at Maxim), including crispy wings hit with a super-tasty Korean Gochujang sauce that disappeared as quickly as Adrian Peterson did on the board.
However, AD didn’t go first, as was the consensus. In fact, Deputy Editor and cheesehead David Swanson, phoning in from a picturesque mountain cabin where he was likely rocking back and forth whittling a pipe, picked Aaron Rodgers to go first – a homer pick if we’ve ever seen one. The picks evened out a bit after that, until everyone got a few beers in, that is.
Click through to the next page to see our draft results, and tell us in the comments who you think won the draft.
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Wrath of Swan – Deputy Editor David Swanson
1. (1) Aaron Rodgers (GB – QB)
2. (24) Chris Johnson (Ten – RB)
3. (25) Eddie Lacy (GB – RB)
4. (48) Hakeem Nicks (NYG – WR)
5. (49) Montee Ball (Den – RB)
6. (72) Greg Jennings (Min – WR)
7. (73) Antonio Gates (SD – TE)
8. (96) Houston (Hou – DEF)
9. (97) Lance Moore (NO – WR)
10. (120) Sebastian Janikowski (Oak – K)
11. (121) James Starks (GB – RB)
12. (144) Josh Freeman (TB – QB)
13. (145) Jacoby Jones (Bal – WR)
14. (168) Brian Hartline (Mia – WR)
The Butcher – Copy Chief Ken Gee
1. (2) Adrian Peterson (Min – RB)
2. (23) Brandon Marshall (Chi – WR)
3. (26) Matt Ryan (Atl – QB)
4. (47) Reggie Wayne (Ind – WR)
5. (50) Vernon Davis (SF – TE)
6. (71) James Jones (GB – WR)
7. (74) Fred Jackson (Buf – RB)
8. (95) Stevie Johnson (Buf – WR)
9. (98) Bryce Brown (Phi – RB)
10. (119) Vick Ballard (Ind – RB)
11. (122) Scott Chandler (Buf – TE)
12. (143) Tampa Bay (TB – DEF)
13. (146) Philip Rivers (SD – QB)
14. (167) Santonio Holmes (NYJ – WR)
The Rated (Entertainment Director Pat Carone)
1. (3) Doug Martin (TB – RB)
2. (22) Jimmy Graham (NO – TE)
3. (27) Julio Jones (Atl – WR)
4. (46) Maurice Jones-Drew (Jax – RB)
5. (51) Cam Newton (Car – QB)
6. (70) Steve Smith (Car – WR)
7. (75) DeSean Jackson (Phi – WR)
8. (94) Shane Vereen (NE – RB)
9. (99) Jermichael Finley (GB – TE)
10. (118) Pittsburgh (Pit – DEF)
11. (123) Phil Dawson (SF – K)
12. (142) Vincent Brown (SD – WR)
13. (147) Jay Cutler (Chi – QB)
14. (166) Garrett Hartley (NO – K)
Señor Spicy Mustardo (Production Director Gustavo Gonzalez)
1. (4) Marshawn Lynch (Sea – RB)
2. (21) Dez Bryant (Dal – WR)
3. (28) Roddy White (Atl – WR)
4. (45) Lamar Miller (Mia – RB)
5. (52) Ryan Mathews (SD – RB)
6. (69) Pierre Garcon (Was – WR)
7. (76) Robert Griffin III (Was – QB)
8. (93) Golden Tate (Sea – WR)
9. (100) Ben Tate (Hou – RB)
10. (117) Heath Miller (Pit – TE)
11. (124) Kenbrell Thompkins (NE – WR)
12. (141) Michael Vick (Phi – QB)
13. (148) Cleveland (Cle – DEF)
14. (165) Jared Cook (StL – TE)
Tiny Shit (Chief Content Officer Dan Bova)
1. (5) Arian Foster (Hou – RB)
2. (20) Victor Cruz (NYG – WR)
3. (29) Colin Kaepernick (SF – QB)
4. (44) Marques Colston (NO – WR)
5. (53) Kyle Rudolph (Min – TE)
6. (68) DeAngelo Williams (Car – RB)
7. (77) Sidney Rice (Sea – WR)
8. (92) Ben Roethlisberger (Pit – QB)
9. (101) BenJarvus Green-Ellis (Cin – RB)
10. (116) Denver (Den – DEF)
11. (125) Blair Walsh (Min – K)
12. (140) Isaiah Pead (StL – RB)
13. (149) Josh Gordon (Cle – WR)
14. (164) Dan Bailey (Dal – K)
The Frankies (Creative Director Paul Scirecalabrisotto)
1. (6) Ray Rice (Bal – RB)
2. (19) Darren Sproles (NO – RB)
3. (30) Demaryius Thomas (Den – WR)
4. (43) Tom Brady (NE – QB)
5. (54) Jordy Nelson (GB – WR)
6. (67) Giovani Bernard (Cin – RB)
7. (78) Miles Austin (Dal – WR)
8. (91) Brandon Myers (NYG – TE)
9. (102) Seattle (Sea – DEF)
10. (115) Matt Bryant (Atl – K)
11. (126) Rueben Randle (NYG – WR)
12. (139) Sam Bradford (StL – QB)
13. (150) Bernard Pierce (Bal – RB)
14. (163) Justin Tucker (Bal – K)
Toronto Ryan Leafs (Maxim.com Assistant Editor Cameron Berkman)
1. (7) Jamaal Charles (KC – RB)
2. (18) Steven Jackson (Atl – RB)
3. (31) Andre Johnson (Hou – WR)
4. (42) Danny Amendola (NE – WR)
5. (55) Russell Wilson (Sea – QB)
6. (66) Le’Veon Bell (Pit – RB)
7. (79) Greg Olsen (Car – TE)
8. (90) Mike Williams (TB – WR)
9. (103) San Francisco (SF – DEF)
10. (114) Ronnie Hillman (Den – RB)
11. (127) Michael Floyd (Ari – WR)
12. (138) Jacquizz Rodgers (Atl – RB)
13. (151) Matt Schaub (Hou – QB)
14. (162) Martellus Bennett (Chi – TE)
The Black Unicorns (Former Art Director Chris Cristiano)
1. (8) Alfred Morris (Was – RB)
2. (17) Stevan Ridley (NE – RB)
3. (32) Frank Gore (SF – RB)
4. (41) Tony Gonzalez (Atl – TE)
5. (56) Mike Wallace (Mia – WR)
6. (65) Dwayne Bowe (KC – WR)
7. (80) Matthew Stafford (Det – QB)
8. (89) Tavon Austin (StL – WR)
9. (104) Chris Givens (StL – WR)
10. (113) Roy Helu (Was – RB)
11. (128) DeAndre Hopkins (Hou – WR)
12. (137) New England (NE – DEF)
13. (152) Carson Palmer (Ari – QB)
14. (161) Brandon Pettigrew (Det – TE)
Ian’s Team (Maxim Lawyer Ian Warren)
1. (9) Trent Richardson (Cle – RB)
2. (16) A.J. Green (Cin – WR)
3. (33) David Wilson (NYG – RB)
4. (40) Rob Gronkowski (NE – TE)
5. (57) DeMarco Murray (Dal – RB)
6. (64) Antonio Brown (Pit – WR)
7. (81) Cecil Shorts (Jax – WR)
8. (88) Tony Romo (Dal – QB)
9. (105) Mark Ingram (NO – RB)
10. (112) Green Bay (GB – DEF)
11. (129) Randy Bullock (Hou – K)
12. (136) Andy Dalton (Cin – QB)
13. (153) Pierre Thomas (NO – RB)
14. (160) Greg Zuerlein (StL – K)
TK Name (Associate Art Director Oliver Yoo)
1. (10) C.J. Spiller (Buf – RB)
2. (15) Calvin Johnson (Det – WR)
3. (34) Reggie Bush (Det – RB)
4. (39) Randall Cobb (GB – WR)
5. (58) Andrew Luck (Ind – QB)
6. (63) Torrey Smith (Bal – WR)
7. (82) T.Y. Hilton (Ind – WR)
8. (87) Daryl Richardson (StL – RB)
9. (106) Jordan Cameron (Cle – TE)
10. (111) Arizona (Ari – DEF)
11. (130) Alshon Jeffery (Chi – WR)
12. (135) Joique Bell (Det – RB)
13. (154) Brandon Weeden (Cle – QB)
14. (159) Kendall Hunter (SF – RB)
Take a Hike (Art Director David Zamdmer)
1. (11) LeSean McCoy (Phi – RB)
2. (14) Peyton Manning (Den – QB)
3. (35) Vincent Jackson (TB – WR)
4. (38) Larry Fitzgerald (Ari – WR)
5. (59) Ahmad Bradshaw (Ind – RB)
6. (62) Owen Daniels (Hou – TE)
7. (83) Rashard Mendenhall (Ari – RB)
8. (86) Eli Manning (NYG – QB)
9. (107) Kenny Britt (Ten – WR)
10. (110) Cincinnati (Cin – DEF)
11. (131) Emmanuel Sanders (Pit – WR)
12. (134) Matt Prater (Den – K)
13. (155) Ryan Broyles (Det – WR)
14. (158) Mike Nugent (Cin – K)
Crooklyn Dodgers (Video Director Ken Shadford)
1. (12) Matt Forte (Chi – RB)
2. (13) Drew Brees (NO – QB)
3. (36) Wes Welker (Den – WR)
4. (37) Jason Witten (Dal – TE)
5. (60) Eric Decker (Den – WR)
6. (61) Darren McFadden (Oak – RB)
7. (84) Anquan Boldin (SF – WR)
8. (85) Chris Ivory (NYJ – RB)
9. (108) Chicago (Chi – DEF)
10. (109) Stephen Gostkowski (NE – K)
11. (132) Isaac Redman (Pit – RB)
12. (133) Joe Flacco (Bal – QB)
13. (156) Zach Sudfeld (NE – TE)
14. (157) Coby Fleener (Ind – TE)
Check out George R.R. Martin’s Fantasy Football Preview and Week 1 of the NFL Big 5!
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