Pete Campbell Vs. Joffrey Baratheon
Who’s the more hatable – Mad Men’s Pete Campbell, or Game Of Thrones’ Joffrey Baratheon? We put the little douchebags to the test…
Who’s the more hatable – Mad Men’s Pete Campbell, or Game Of Thrones’ Joffrey Baratheon? We put the little douchebags to the test… (Warning: Spoilers follow)
1. RELATIONSHIPS WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Nobody likes Mad Men‘s Pete Campbell, but they keep him around anyway. He could have been fired during any of these seasons, but we suspect they keep him around for the sake of having someone to hate. He thinks he’s so much better at advertising than he actually is, and he doesn’t really have the respect of anyone who matters (Don Draper, Peggy Olsen, Roger Sterling… you get it).
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And if he hadn’t mentioned it in the first place, Joan wouldn’t have had to sleep with a potential client for her job. Don’t mess with the hottest person to ever be on AMC.
But if nobody likes Pete Campbell, then everyone HATES Joffrey Baratheon of Game of Thrones. He’s a terrible king, he hates people, and he may not have even hit puberty yet, which makes it all the more frustrating for the people of Westeros. In addition, he cries like a baby and hides behind his mom all the time. If you’re going to be THAT terrible, at least don’t be a pussy too. Jeez.
WINNER: Joffrey.
2. RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
Pete Campbell cheats on his doting wife (the smoking hot Alison Brie) like a damn idiot and then gets caught like a damn idiot. Oh! And he has a baby with a co-worker that he doesn’t know about for years.
Joffrey, on the other hand, is just a heinous asshole to everyone. He plans to marry Sansa, then cuts her dad’s head off, then he dumps Sansa. He has prostitutes beat each other for entertainment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEtar1BgI3U
On the other hand, they both have a softer side for the ladies… Pete had a thing for Beth Dawes before she erased her memory of him, then he visited her in the hospital and defended her to her husband. Joffrey seems to be a little more taken with Margaery than he was with Sansa, thus he defends her to his mom. Christ, did we just defend Joffrey?
WINNER: Joffrey. He had it at prostitutes beating each other. Dick.
3. PHYSICAL ALTERCATIONS
Joffrey can’t fight in the big battle of Season 2 (or any fight for that matter) and he gets slapped around by Cersei and Tyrion. It’s awesome.
Sure, he cuts the butcher boy’s face in Season 1, but then Arya Stark shows she could probably kill him if she wanted.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvUJoi7wgOQ
Pete loves fighting and he looks like a total moron when he gets blood on his face. In particular, Campbell likes altercations on the train and in the office.
WINNER: Joffrey.
4. UPBRINGING/ BACKGROUND
Pete comes from a seemingly upper middle class to upper class background. He doesn’t have the best relationship with his mom and dad, and though it was really sad when his dad died, he later says he hates both of his parents, especially because of the financial situation the Campbells were left in. Still, one would think that if Don Draper can come out alive from all the crap he dealt with as a child, then surely ol’ Petey can ball up and stop being such a whiney weiney all the time.
Here’s where we let Joffrey off the hook a little. What can you expect from a kid who is born out of incest from the two meanest, conniving twins in the world (or at least, Westeros)?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cFx5HSpAvQ
He has no friends, his grandfather is super scary, and his uncle is an alcoholic sex fiend who slaps him around. Plus, he’s still just a kid. He’s got time to change, right? Well, probably not, but you get the point.
WINNER: Pete.
5. THE SNARL/GRIN
Ah the final judgement… that nasty snarl or grin both characters get when they’re at their devilish worst. Let your eyes do the work for you.
First, Pete.
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Now, Joffrey.
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WINNER: Pete.
OVERALL WINNER: Joffrey. You’re the worst, dickface, and you probably always will be!
Can’t get enough Sunday night TV? Check out 5 Life Lessons From Don Draper and the Game of Thrones Recap By a Game of Thrones Virgin.
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