The Ten Crispiest Burns From The Justin Bieber Roast
For over two hours, the stage smelled of singed Canadian pop prince.
Last night, The Biebs got broiled. Like other publicly derided famous people before him, Justin took part in a sacred ceremony: a motley crew of comedians, celebrities and Jeff Ross (there’s always Jeff Ross) assembled to marinate him in an acidic broth of humiliation before skewering His Royal Smirkiness with highly personal insults.
The jokes were good, and while we’re sure Bieber’s PR team is happy to have had the opportunity to re-cast their mop-headed playboy as a decent human, the person who won the night was undoubtedly Natasha Legerro. Her barbs were quick, mean and hilarious—perfect for slicing through the egos in the room. She owns this list.
Hannibal Buress:
“Actually, you should thank me for participating in this extremely transparent attempt to be more likable in the public eye. And, I hope it doesn’t work.”
Natasha Leggero:
“Justin was born to a single teenage mom. No wonder he’s got moves—he was in the womb dodging a coat hanger!”
Martha Stewart:
[Regarding Bieber’s 60 million twitter followers] “The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower.”
Jeff Ross:
“Justin, you have such a huge career behind you.”
Martha Stewart:
“Justin is worth $200 million, and in prison, that’s worth four packs of Kool.”
Natasha Leggero:
“Justin’s fans are called “Beliebers” because it’s politically incorrect to use the word ‘retards.’”
Will Ferrell/Ron Burgundy:
“This kid has spunk, moxie, and probably a few other STDs.”
Natasha Leggero:
“All these rappers on stage and Martha Stewart has done the most jail time.”
Kevin Hart:
“Selena Gomez couldn’t be here tonight. Just because she didn’t want to be here.”
Natasha Legerro:
“Kevin, you are everywhere. He is going to be on the next season of Game of Thrones. He’s going to play Peter Dinklage’s shadow.”
Photos by Kevin Winter/Getty Images
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