Cheech & Chong’s Animated Movie is out on DVD on April 23. Here the great Tommy Chong gives the stoner treatment to classic animated films. Spoiler: They lived highly ever after.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Illustrations by Ward Sutton
“I wouldn’t have Snow White bite into the apple; I would have her smoke into a bong. And the dwarfs, they’re the growers. When they’re off to work, they go work in a grow tunnel, where they’re growing Acapulco Gold. Sleepy’s a downer freak, Doc is into prescription drugs, Happy’s a pothead, Sneezy’s a coke freak. Who else? Dopey, uh, let’s make Dopey the booze head. Grumpy is the guy in rehab. Bashful goes to raves and takes ecstasy. In the end Snow White discovers she’s gay and ends up with her own show, like Ellen DeGeneres.”
Bambi
Illustrations by Ward Sutton
“The hunter who shoots Bambi’s mom wants to tear down the forest and build condos. The evil NRA goes in there with their guns and shoots everything except Bambi, who is rescued by these grade-school kids who have pooled their money together to protect him. And so the schoolers, they defeat the evil guys with their cuteness. They also know where their fathers’ stash is, and they know it calms their dads down, so they find a way to get the NRA to smoke up. And that’s what turns them all into fat pacifists.”
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
Illustrations by Ward Sutton
“Linus is explaining the Great Pumpkin to Charlie Brown, and they laugh at him, so Snoopy takes Linus and turns him on to a joint. Snoopy has a private stash; that’s why he’s always lying on his doghouse. They decide to make their own pumpkin, but they’re stoned, so it ends up looking ridiculous. They scare Charlie with it, but what he sees in the background is really the Great Pumpkin. Then Snoopy says, ‘I forgot to introduce you to my buddy,’ and then the guy removes his pumpkin costume, and it’s Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.”
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