There’s a lot of TV options to choose from. Too much for any one person to completely monitor, but that doesn’t mean we’re not going to do our best to sift through all the listings and figure out what you should be watching every week…with all the highlights, lowlights, and guilty pleasures you can stand. Most of this week’s stellar television arrives at the end of the week. So take this as an opportunity to party during the week, in preparation for your marathon boob tube session over the weekend. If you don’t wind up on the season finale of Cops, consider it a small victory. But, lest you forget, Morgan Freeman is always watching over you…and judging. Always judging.
Friday, June 17
10:30 p.m., The Whitest Kids U’Know(IFC)
The whitest kids we know are spending their summer following Phish around the country, but The Whitest Kids U’Know are wrapping up their subversive sketch comedy show after five deranged seasons. So how will the New York City-spawned trouble-making comedy troupe, led by by comic mad man Trevor Moore, close the door on their series which featured, among other skits, youngsters playing with guns and stealing meds from an old folks home? We have no idea, but we’re sure as hell– hell being the operative word here–going to find out.
Saturday, June 18
8:00 p.m.Cops(Fox)
If enjoying all 23 glorious seasons of law enforcement officials nabbing lowlife criminals–particularly of the shirtless, toothless yokel variety—is a crime, you’d might as well lock us up with Cletus. The 2011 season of one of television’s longest running guilty pleasures is coming to an end tonight, so you’d better come up with a new excuse of why you’re so sweaty.
Sunday, June 19
9:00 p.m. Falling Skies (TNT)
If there’s anything Steven Spielberg knows—well, besides how to scare us from ever wanting to go back in the ocean, as well as bum us out with gut-wrenching movies about war, the Holocaust and disappointing Jurassic Park sequels–it’s aliens. The Oscar-winning director is executive producing this new series about a survivor resistance movement (lead by ER’s Noah Wyle) in the aftermath of an extraterrestrial invasion. Just for reference guys, if Richard Dreyfuss shows up and starts making mashed potato mountains, it’s not just some weird coincidence, it means those meddling space invaders are bound to be close by.
9:00 p.m. Game of Thrones (HBO)
The title of the first season finale episode of the extremely graphic series is called “Fire and Blood,” which pretty much sums up everything that happened thus far in Game of Thrones. No, that’s not true. If that were really the case, this episode would be called “Fire and Blood and Boobs and Horse Beheadings and Incest And Peter Dinklage Being Awesome.” Seriously, this show is insane.
Morgan Freeman Is Everywhere….And It Rules
Wednesday, June 15
10:00 p.m.Through The Wormhole (Science)
Morgan Freeman could make anything sound interesting (he helped propel a goddamn movie about penguins walking around into a $127 million worldwide box office smash), but hearing the Oscar-winning smooth-as-silk voiced actor wax poetic about the mysteries of the universe is downright mind-blowing. In this brand-new episode Freeman will ask viewers to ponder, “Is there an edge to the universe?” To which U2’s The Edge will dutifully respond, “Present!”
Sunday, June 19
9:00 p.m. AFI Lifetime Achievement Award: A Tribute To Morgan Freeman (TV Land)
Helen Mirren, Clint Eastwood and Matthew Broderick are among some of the celebrities who have been lucky enough to work with the legendary Freeman, and they, along with a bevy of other stars, will be on hand to reward the deserving actor with an AFI Lifetime Achievement Award for his work on Through the Wormhole. Just kidding, it’s to acknowledge all of his big screen badassery in classics like The Shawshank Redemption, Seven, The Dark Knight, Invictus, Lean On Me, Glory, Unforgiven, Million Dollar Baby, and perhaps most fittingly, his work as God in Bruce Almighty.
The Silver Lining
Sunday, June 19
9:00 p.m. Miss USA Pageant (NBC)
If you just can’t decide between Falling Skies, Game of Thrones and Morgan Freeman (for shame, sir!) or if it’s really just that you want to see pretty ladies say things like this, there’s always the Miss USA Pageant. Still, no amount of sexy swimsuit competitions or soul-crushing speeches may be worth sitting through the musings of host Giuliana Rancic and the equally bewildering commentator Kelly Osbourne.