Monday
Have you heard about The Interview? Apparently it’s a controversial new viral video clip with some high-profile Hollywood cameos. It costs $5.99 to see it on YouTube, which is precisely $5.99 more than we feel comfortable paying to watch something on the mother of all tubes, but it’s really been blowing up the ol’ Facebook feed so we’ll probably give it a shot.
Randall Park must have had a weird month.
Tuesday
There is a short list of men that Americans all feel the same way about who aren’t currently being targeted by drones. The man at the top of that list? Tom Hanks. No one doesn’t like Tom Hanks. The guy is a great actor, the worst Twitterer of all time, and Hollywood’s last bastion of civility. We’ll clap as he accepts a Kennedy Center necklace (alongside Al Green) on Tuesday. It’s truly fitting that such an honor be bestowed on the star of Bosom Buddies, Bachelor Party, The Man With One Red Shoe, The ‘Burbs, Punchline, Vault of Horror I, The Terminal, The Da Vinci Code, and Cloud Atlas.
If we get bored during the presentation, we’ll be bouncing over to the Warriors/76ers massacre. What happens when the best team in basketball takes on the worst? Well, the guys from Cali win. The only question is can they make a historic rivalry turned joke into a historic joke.
Wednesday
The demand for Champagne spikes on New Year’s Eve, which is while we’ll be watching for the moment when saturation – aisles full of aggressively priced bubbly – creates a rush and the pricetags take a turn for the higher. That’s when we shall strike, grabby bottles by the armful.
Later in the evening, we’ll be handing said bottles out, keeping an extra for that woman we’ll (no doubt) be watching as the clock starts ticking down.
Thursday
Hangovers suck. College football helps and the opportunity to watch the first College Playoff is exciting, but we strongly suspect will be catching the action through squinted eyes. Cathode ray tubes can be so bright. Still, cheerleaders.
Friday
It comes out two days earlier, but there is little chance anyone will be catching A Most Violent Year until week’s end. And catch it we will because J.C. Chandor made Margin Call, which was fantastic. Also, eighties mob thrillers are never going to get old.
And here’s another thing: Plane tickets. There are always major sales come New Year as travelers fail to live up to the fevered expectations of the airline industry. We’ll set aside a bit of time to comb through Kayak in search of something exciting. Rio on short notice? Don’t mind if we do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xECHpETmACA
Weekend
Playoff NFL is the best NFL, but it may be slightly less compelling than our favorite female stars’ Instagram feeds, which we can predict (without fear of inaccuracy) will suddenly be thick with yacht-based bikini shots. Yacht-base bikini shots: So goes Diddy, so goes the nation.
A photo posted by Sean Diddy Combs (@iamdiddy) on
Dec 12, 2014 at 7:50am PST