This Couple Fled Germany Because They Were Too Sexy for Their Homeland

A truly inspiring tale of freedom. 

There are countless reasons why people uproot themselves from their homeland and move to a new country. Some are in search of better economic opportunities. Others are refugees forced to flee from horrific war zones. Others still are simply too sexy for their birthplace.

Such is the plight of Maria and Bastian Yotta who, the New York Post reports, moved from their native German to Beverly Hills because they felt discriminated against back home.

“People in Germany was very jealous and when we would drive a great sport car, maybe the Ferrari, they spit on the car [sic],” 27-year-old Maria lamented in a video from Barcroft Media (below).

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“When we are in a restaurant, people in the table next to us talking really loud about the size of Maria’s boobs,” the 38-year-old entrepreneur Bastian said. “‘Oh my god, they are too big. It does not fit to this girl.’ I decided to leave Germany because I realized there is some things I cannot change [sic].”

It’s just like that poem engraved on the Statue of Liberty: “Give me your sexy, your rich, Your huddled fake breasts yearning to breathe free.”

Take a look at das über sexy couple for yourself — but maybe wear sunglasses lest your quivering libido become entirely overwhelmed. 

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Sep 26, 2015 at 5:44pm PDT

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Sep 28, 2015 at 4:46pm PDT

Assuming that you’ve made it through without succumbing to their magnetic sexuality or your own horniness, don’t forget that they are also, very, very rich. The Yottas drop $100,000 a month, and Bastian’s main goal is to become a billionaire.

Bastian’s wanted to live in America since he saw Baywatch on TV as a teenager and says that now he’s “created my own Baywatch. I have a girl looking much better than Pamela Anderson.” (Sounds totally healthy.) Further elaborating his philosophy on life, “I don’t call it holiday, I call it holilife. Every single day is holiday.”

It’s so beautiful to see the American Dream fulfilled by two people who seem to really deserve it. Glückwünsche!