Ah, the weekend. Two fleeting days to convince yourself you have some measure of control over your life. But planning out activities and amusements is a lot of pressure—which is why we’re here to take some of the burden off your shoulders. And we promise not to let your boss know about all that extra shoulder space that could be used for at least eight more job responsibilities.
1. MOVIE
30 Minutes or Less (Opens August 12) – Nick Swardson and Danny McBride play small-time crooks with big ideas—namely to strap a bomb onto a stranger and force him to rob a bank for them. The pair will no doubt make hilarious partners in crime. Plus Jesse Eisenberg, the bomb-strapped pizza boy, and Aziz Ansari are an equally dynamic duo as the hapless, helpless bank robbers. Add Dilshad Vadsaria and Bianca Kajlich to the mix and we’re sold on this flick. The action comedy has the potential to be summer’s Pineapple Express. We hope they don’t blow it.
2. TV
Strike Back (August 12, 10 p.m., Cinemax) – This new series focuses on two agents on a top-secret counter-terrorism team. Based on a British series by the same name, Cinemax kicks off its ten episode version tonight. Fast-paced and full of intrigue, the show is a welcome addition to the limited options of Friday night television. Plus, if you stay tuned after the show, Cinemax’s “After Dark” series let you in on a totally different kind of action.
3. SPORTS
Little League World Series (August 13, 5-11 p.m., ESPN) – Watching kids freaking rule at America’s pastime is like reliving some childhood dream: The world is suddenly filled with possibility and promise—dreams can come true! Of course, seconds later we realize we’re five beers in watching kids who are better at baseball then we are at anything. But at least we can drink beer.
4. MOVIE
Final Destination 5 (Opens August 12) – Here we go again…it’s round five of Death vs. a group of young people. You have the option of seeing this latest installment in 3D, probably a worthwhile endeavor since at least a few gruesome and elaborate deaths will cater specifically to 3D viewing. Is it weird that we like the idea of spending two hours watching sharp objects fly at our faces?
5. TV
WrestleMania XXVII (August 13, 9 p.m, NBC) -Technically, the 27th WrestleMania went down back in early April, but technically, it’s also a staged performance, so any need to watch it live feels a little silly. If you’ve ever been a WWE fan, this show, hosted by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, will be nothing but good clean fun…possibly minus the “good clean” part. Matches include Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio and The Miz (of Real World fame) vs. John Cena. Plus, watch Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi step into the ring for a 6-person mixed tag team match—pretty much sounds like an episode of Jersey Shore.
6. EVENTS
Outside Lands (August 12-14) – Hip meets hippie as one of the summer’s biggest music festivals goes down in Golden Gate Park. It’s the usual endless list of bands, from big names like the Black Keys and the Roots to up-and-coming indie artists like Tune-Yards and Foster the People. Plus, stoner favorite Phish is playing two sets. Last time we attended this event, we may or may not have had a brief flirtation with the law while attempting to TP the Full House house. Our advice: attend the concert but avoid messing with Bob Saget’s old primetime playground.
Your Weekend Six Pack: August 12-14
From pizza boys strapped with explosives to secret agents in search of WMDs, so many things are about to make your weekend da bomb.