Shitty relationship advice has become an epidemic, sucking the potential out of budding romances and infecting couples with dark, ill-advised lies. And you hear it everywhere – from your best friend, a podcast, a TV show…everywhere.
If you’ve ever felt personally victimized by bad relationship advice, keep reading, because we’re here to tell you what not to listen to, and what to do instead. Here are five of the most common pieces of bad relationship advice that you should never, ever listen to.
“You’ll meet someone when you stop looking for it.”
Do you really think the woman of your dreams is going to magically plop down in front of your feet? No, she probably isn’t. You’re most likely going to meet her on Tinder, at a bar, or at the grocery store, so you should probably make an effort to talk to women who catch your eye. This doesn’t mean to try really, really hard and make an ass of yourself, but being idle in the dating department isn’t going to do you any favors, because statistically speaking, women don’t approach men as often. It’s in your hands, too, my friend.
“Moving in together will solve all your problems.”
You’ve probably heard that moving in with your significant other might be a solution, a big “next step” for a your relationship. And sometimes it does bring you closer. But fortunately for you, we’re here to tell you that’s a load of bull. Taking an already rocky relationship to the next level will definitely not strengthen your bond, because fights about the phone bill or leaving the toilet seat up will only help you break up faster.
“Once a cheater always a cheater.”
Thank God for psychology on this one, because contrary to popular belief, people can change. While it’s perfectly understandable that being cheated on can leave you hurting and with some trust issues, you should also know that cheating is a psychologically complex event, and in some cases, a one-time thing.
If there’s a lot of love in your relationship, and the cheater has genuinely good character but seems to have messed up their priorities in a time of confusion, it’s a pretty safe option to forgive. Instead of giving into that defense mechanism of “once a cheater always a cheater,” talk it out with your partner and understand what drove them to have an affair, and work to salvage your relationship if you feel it’s worth another shot.
“Don’t have sex too soon.”
If you feel that insane mutual attraction on the first date, turn the other cheek to the first-date-sex-shamers and get busy. Why wait to have sex when you both want it now? And that 3-date rule? Just silly. You don’t need an arbitrary rule setting the guidelines for when you should have sex with your new boo. Plus, OkCupid revealed that while 50% of people opt to wait a few dates before getting in bed together, the remaining 50% like to do the classic “dinner, drinks, and sex” first date. With that said, you do you.
“Play hard to get.”
Please don’t, because playing games will only make the already difficult dating game even more difficult. It’s best to be upfront and honest about everything, because it will show her you’re serious about being with her, leaving no room for unfortunate misunderstandings that will end a relationship before it even begins.
There you have it: garbage advice, debunked. Good luck, gentlemen.