15 Mistakes You Should Never Make If You Ever Want To Get Laid Again

This is how you strike out.

Zeynep Yenisey

Apr 24, 2017

As you already know, there are many components that go into fantastic sex — like plenty of foreplay, not rolling over and passing out the second you finish, and making sure to take care of your lady friend’s womanly needs.

And just as there are certain things that make sex great, there are also certain things that can immediately turn your partner off, and make for a pretty unpleasant experience. For example, something you should never, ever do in bed is attempt to talk dirty in her ear and then stutter. So bad, so cringeworthy.

Another thing to avoid: jackhammer finger banging. Just no. Don’t do it. Please. Her vagina is not a street construction project.

Since there are simply so many mistakes people can make in the bedroom, the folks over at Superdrug conducted a surve y of over 2,000 people to find out what the top bedroom deal breakers are, and came up with a handy list of the top 15.

So, without further ado, here are top 15 biggest mood-killers that you should seriously avoid if you want to get laid ever again.

According to the survey, the number one biggest deal breaker of all time, with 19.1 percent of the vote, is being called by the wrong name. Well, duh. If her name is Mary and you call her Linda, she’s not going to be too happy, because there’s nothing like calling a person by the wrong name to let them know you don’t give a shit about them.

The second biggest turnoff, with 13.5 percent of the total vote, is farting really loud. As someone who briefly dated a serial farter, I agree. Nobody wants to hear loud butt trumpet solos from the person they’re sleeping with. A quick way to lose even more points is announcing they’re about to rip and then laughing at it.

With 12.4 percent of the vote, number three on the list is the silent but deadly fart. I understand this one, too. Just as a loud fart is a turn off, a room-clearing, eye-watering toot isn’t exactly sexy, either. Moral of the story: if you need to drop a booty bomb, do it in the privacy of your bathroom.

Number four is “peeing a little,” with a solid 10.2 percent of the vote, followed by “if someone asked to film you,” a.k.a. asking her to make a homemade porno. I mean, it’d be cool if you’re both into that sort of stuff, but otherwise, I’m sure it’d be quite uncomfortable.

The sixth biggest turn off is burping, with 6.9 percent of people saying they can’t stand it when their partner belches towards their face during sex. Which seems fair.

And with 5.8 percent of the vote, putting it at number seven on the list of biggest turn offs, is foot licking. While I understand that some people have a foot fetish, let’s also acknowledge the fact that many others think foot fetishes are gross and weird. So yeah.

Check out the graph below for the complete list of the top 15 deal breakers: