Maxim Told Me To Go There: Bikinis! Beer! Bulls! …Dead Guys?!

Get ready for another week of the most fun events in America.

This is Maxim’s weekly guide to the parties, festivals, events, and assorted mayhem going on around the country. Check back each Friday to see what’s happening over the weekend and the following week, then pack your bag and hit the road! And if you think we missed something, tell us in the comments, or tweet at us with #MaximGoThere

SXSW

Mar 7 – Mar 16, Austin, TX

Festival passes from $650

The ever-growing South By Southwest festival brings its usual eclectic blend of bands, movies, and tradeshows to Austin this weekend. Check out acts like Imagine Dragons, 50 Cent, Blur/Gorillaz frontman Damon Albarn, Childish Gambino, Soundgarden, and Zedd, then watch a bunch of movies, and maybe even learn something useful at one of the many interactive events. Or you could just fall asleep in the Texas sun and wake up four hours later wondering why it feels like your entire body is on fire, like we normally do.

Harpoon St. Patrick’s Festival

Mar 7 – Mar 8, Boston, MA

Cover charge – $20

Really, really can’t wait for St. Patrick’s Day? Need to drink your face inside out right now or you’re going to go insane? Relax, buddy. If you’re within driving distance of Boston (and you have a very good friend who doesn’t mind driving your drunk ass home), head to the Harpoon Brewery, where they’re celebrating St. Paddy’s more than a week early, because why the hell not? Line your stomach with corned beef and cabbage, then try every foamy beer on offer. And then apologize to your designated driver once again for the fact you have to drive the whole way home with all the windows open.

Rodeo Austin BBQ Cook-Off

Mar 7 – Mar 8, Austin, TX

Gate Admission from $8, Rodeo tickets from $20

Rodeo Austin has been busy making sure not a single rider remains upright in the saddle since the beginning of the month, but this weekend sees the BBQ cook-off, which is obviously an extra incentive to check it out. With competitions focusing on brisket, ribs, Bloody Marys, and more, it’s the ultimate destination for fans of both Texas BBQ and the smell of manure this weekend.

Frozen Dead Guy Days

Mar 7 – Mar 9, Nederland, CO

Event registration prices vary – spectating is free

“Frozen dead guy” accurately describes the way pretty much everyone on the East Coast has felt all winter, but if you want something a little more literal, head to Nederland for a brilliantly weird time. The annual festival celebrates an event that…well, it’s complicated. And it involves a cryogenically frozen dead Norwegian dude. Here, just read this, it’ll be quicker. The festivities inlude a freezing polar plunge (in costumes, naturally), snowy beach volleyball, ice turkey bowling, and the highlight, the coffin race, in which teams of six race to see who can carry a seventh person to the finish line in – you guessed it – a coffin. Throw in the state’s otherfavorite recreational activity and you’re guaranteed an, uh, “interesting” time.

Spring Break In Vegas

Mar 10 – Mar 16, Las Vegas, NV

Party ticket prices vary

If you’re sick of the snow and want to see some damn bikinis already, head to Vegas and get to one of the many spring break pool parties. With a party in a different venue each day for seven days, you can pretty much stay in the water for an entire week. Although if you do that, you may want to consider getting a very thorough medical examination afterwards. Just sayin’.

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