When you’re in a relationship, sometimes one side of the couple just doesn’t feel like having sex. How many times has your girlfriend turned down your advances because 1) she has her period, 2) she’s not in the mood, or 3) she hates you? It happens.
Digging into the realms of “Not tonight, babe,” sexpert Tracey Cox has determined the eight most common excuses women use to get out of sex. Girlfriends, you are exposed!
1. I’ve got a headache/feel sick.
Ah, the most common excuse of all time. It’s perfectly understandable if she actually has a headache, because sex isn’t much fun if she has pounding head while you’re pounding away. But if she’s been using the same excuse every day for the past 2 weeks, she either really needs to see a doctor, or she flat out doesn’t want to have sex with you. That’s up to you to figure out.
2. I’m too busy.
Apparently, 75% of couples blame their crazy work schedules and hectic lives on their lack of interest in sex. If she doesn’t have time for herself, she’s probably not going to have time to have sex with you, either. In this scenario, try as a couple to set aside time for getting intimate with each other. Instead of bumming out watching Netflix together, upgrade that to Netflix and chill. Problem solved.
3. I’m too tired.
When she’s tired, she’s not going to feel like getting busy. So take a nap together, or treat her to a double espresso with a lot of sugar, because then she won’t be too tired to have sex with you. It’s a win-win situation.
4. I don’t have an orgasm so what’s the point?
This is all on you, my friend. If she’s getting nothing out of sex, she’d much rather keep her panties on and not have a sweaty man flopping around on top of her. You can’t really blame her for that. In this case, it’s best to try different things in the bedroom to make sure she orgasms too, like going down on her more, experimenting a little, or just having sex outside of the bedroom in some exotic locale, like the kitchen. It’s more exciting.
5. I feel fat.
Sorry to say, but this is a legit reason for a woman to not want to get naked, because when a woman feels fat, she sure as hell doesn’t feel sexy. And when she doesn’t feel sexy, she won’t want to take her clothes off. You know what I mean? If your lady sobs that she’s fat when you try to get things hot and heavy, just tell her she’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. And actually mean it. It might work. Or, just have a lighter dinner from then on, and she won’t feel like a whale afterwards.
6. I’m sick of being hassled for sex
If you’re the one constantly initiating sex, she’s going to get bored, which might be why she’s giving you this excuse. “It’s called ‘the see-saw phenomenon’: the more one person does, the less the other does. The more often they initiate sex, the less often you will,” said Cox, implying that the more you ask her for sex, the less interested she’s going to be.
“Here’s what you do to fix this one: tell your partner you miss not being the one to initiate sex. This alone – and I guarantee it – will have an extraordinary reaction,” she added. See, easy fix!
7. I’m bored stupid
She needs some excitement! Buy some sex toys, try different positions, surprise her with a trip south of the border *wink wink* and she’ll reciprocate like crazy. Trust us. Getting passion and excitement back into your sex life isn’t that difficult – just introduce some novel things to the bedroom, and voila. Problem solved.
8. I simply can’t be bothered
Yikes, this is bad. She’s over you and your penis. Either she’s cheating on you, or she doesn’t miss having sex with you, because according to Cox, “The less sex you have, the less you miss it,” which raises the question, how often are you having sex with her?
As a solution, she says, “Consider scheduling sex sessions – it doesn’t work for all couples but it works for more than you think.” And if that doesn’t work, the relationship may well be over. Sorry.