Unless you’re a hormonal teenage boy, you probably don’t want to have sex all the damn time.
But here’s the thing – it’s completely normal to not be horny a lot of times, even if you’re sitting butt-to-crotch with your special lady friend. In fact, some might argue that being horny all the time, like the men you see in movies or TV shows, is the real problem.
In a video made by NYMag’s Science of Us team, they call upon research to prove just how fine we are, with or without a superhuman sex drive.
Sex researcher Emily Nagoski, cited in the video, weighs in: “Spontaneous desire is totally fun,” she said in an interview with New Scientist. “But you’re not broken just because you’re not experiencing it.”
According to Nagoski in her book Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life, spontaneous desire is only one of the many forms of desire we experience, and basically only happens when we see or think about something novel that’s sexy. Other times, we experience responsive desire, like getting aroused after someone pulls a move on us, rather than before.
Check out the video for further proof that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
