American car companies like Chevrolet serve two masters: private sector buyers and the government. As such, the company provides two different versions of its cars. For civilian consumers—who, like barracuda, are mindlessly drawn to shiny things—Chevy sells the standard Tahoe with a chrome grill, chrome door-handles, and glittery LED running lights. For police departments—whose only interests are durability and performance—Chevy makes the stronger, more powerful, and no-nonsense Police Pursuit Vehicle (PPV) models. Now, which would you choose? Be a man of substance, not flash.
If you’re unconvinced, check out the specs on the latest 2015 Tahoe Pursuit. A revised 5.3-liter small-block V8 provides 11% more horsepower while being 10% more efficient on the highway. The chassis has been upgraded for both better highway and off-road performance with a wider rear track, stiffer springs and uprated shocks. For police pursuits (or, you know, civilian shenanigans), the Tahoe PPV comes with V-rated (up to 149 MPH) tired on black-painted steelies. We don’t know what you’d power with it (disco ball? Rototiller?), but police Tahoes come standard with a 170-amp alternator and a 730 CCA auxiliary battery.
Now, there’s the small technicality that PPV cars aren’t supposed to be sold to civilians, but we have it on good authority from the internet that with enough sweet-talking and cash in hand, there are fleet managers in our nation who think you happen to look a lot like the town’s sheriff. Practice your smile, firm handshake and pleading eyes and soon enough, you will be blinding friends and family with the spotlights mounted to your sweet, government-grade Tahoe.