Ex-NFL Running Back Arian Foster is Convinced He Could Beat Up a Wolf in a Fight
The four-time Pro Bowler describes how he would eff up a freakin’ wolf in a man vs. beast battle. Who you got?
What does a former NFL superstar do once he retires? If he’s Arian Foster, he dedicates far too much time to researching what would happen if he fought a wolf. And also, if he’s Arian Foster, he decides he would win.
The former Texans and Dolphins running back spent four hours on Sunday tweeting about this subject and responding to those who think he’s nuts.
wanna go camping but "wildlife" scares the shit outta me.
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
i honestly think i can get a wolf 1 on 1 tho.
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
Foster’s argument relies primarily on his thumbs. Wolves don’t have them. People do.
i've studied the wolf. he can't read. i know his weaknesses. plus the thumb thing.
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
if he bites me his main weapon is immobilized. then becomes vulnerable. this is why thumbs are so important.
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
thumbs means i can grab him .he can't grab me. all he has is a mouth. grab his neck he can't bite. https://t.co/5s61cihKVb
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
But it’s not just the “thumb thing” that would give Foster a potential advantage. Wolves, as he notes, know dick about human biology.
bro you think a wolf knows where my artery is? all the sudden i'm fighting a wolf that knows biology? https://t.co/0rKRorDSaw
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
If you’re still not convince that Foster, a 6’1″, 225-pound athlete, could take down the wolf, here’s the argument that will convince you. Know any wolves with four Pro Bowls?
also hasn't been to 4 probowls, overcome those injuries and DOESNT HAVE THUMBS. advg: me, fucker. https://t.co/337xEc8k05
— feeno (@ArianFoster) March 5, 2017
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